بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْم
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
3rd Dhul Qa'dah 1445 AH. 12th May 2024 CE
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
- Khalil Jibran's beautiful poem on parenting, taken from the book "Positive Parenting in the Muslim Home" an excellent book we recommend to all parents.
Parenting is one of life's biggest jobs. Just as we learn and master any skill in life, the same applies to parenting. As you reflect on your own childhood, there are sure to be things you would like to change, things you would do differently as a parent. However, it can be difficult to break from generational habits; real change requires learning, reflecting and make conscious efforts to change yourself for the sake of your children. Learning and reading about effective parenting will help you on your journey to raise great Muslims, in sha Allah.
"And lower to them [your parents] the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small." - Surah al Isra (17:24).
Take a look at some great parenting books here.